Are the whispers loud?

...a journal entry from a little while back.

June 06, 2010.

"It's day one of our first week of youth and though I am tired, but I am hopeful. I have staff teams who are willing and teachable, groups who seem to be excited, and community kids who are ready to exert a whole lot of energy. I just challenged my staff to quiet themselves and to spend time truly hearing God today. This got me thinking about listening to God...

I have been hearing God lately in whispers but I wonder if it is possible that He has been shouting. Am I only hearing murmurings of my God because I am running too fast, talking to much, or just simply refusing to LISTEN. Jesus, speak to me and I will listen with heart abandoned.

After this prayer I read a pretty incredible thought about Jesus' interaction with the woman at the well and what that means in my life as a believer who is actively seeking Jesus. It said this:

"Let yourself be there in Jesus. Let yourself contemplate the relationship that you share. Stay for as long as you wish in that sacred place, beside the well that has its source in who you already are. Then let Jesus send you back to your village, the place in the world where you are called to live out the consequences of your prayer..."

Am I ready to live out the consequences of a prayer to truly HEAR my Lord? It is not an easy way but I know that I have access to a well that has its source in who I already am. That thought alone is pretty unbelievable, right?

El Mismo Cielo

So many thoughts race through my mind tonight. I think I could project thoughts, feelings, or new ideas onto this page for the next three hours but there is something that weighs most heavily on my mind so I will write about this tonight....

Marcela Gandara is one of my favorite musical artists-she sings a song called, "El Mismo Cielo." She sings completely in Spanish but her song talks about the changes she is going through as a follower of The Way of her Creator. She recounts streets that she has walked, a sky that she stands under, and the sun above her. She recognizes changed in the midst of that which is familiar. She articulates that although the streets, the sky, and even the sun that brings her warmth all look the same, she is not the same. She has changed from the person she was when she started out on that road however many years ago.

I can identify with this song-a lot. The past three weeks have been filled with places that technically all look similar to when I began this journey with God four summers ago. But I am not the same. I am thankful for God's everlasting love, for His tireless patience, and for the grace that has flown down on all of my mistakes, wrong attitudes, and tiring spirit. He has reawakened me through time with Shannon, Wales, Lauren, Lonnie, Rick, and so many other people I have come to love and respect on these reservations. He has taught me through broken cell phones, two hour drives to the doctor, long conversations with site directors, and "plans" falling through that HE is over all, above all, and in all. This summer is already so real and full of truth that I can't help but look forward to the rest because it reminds me that when things are hard it means they are real. It reminds me even more that where I am weak He is strong.

Speaking of real and hard and painful-one of my very best friends on this reservation just started chatting with me and she needs some truth spoken over her and into her right now. That is my priority so I am pressing pause on this thought for now. Pray for the nations with me. Pray for me as I pour myself out in these spaces and pray for our brothers and sisters who are pouring themselves out daily for the glory of God. I am blessed.

Me haces vivir, me haces reir, y respirar.....